bang bang

there’s something definitely that has to be said about tarantino films. yes they are cliched. yes they are ripped-off older films. and yes, it’s usually glorified violence. but you know what? they’re awesome films. and if you don’ t notice it already – all tarantino films (usually) are thematically very complex.  it is an active, complicated process for the viewer to deconstruct the images and dialogue in his films, consume it frame by frame, and then to repiece it in their heads in order to figure out the subtext layered underneath all the gory visuals and cool dialogue.

if youre wondering – i just rewatched both kill bill – both volumes. and can anyone wait for inglorious basterds? i can’t. it’s been way too long qt, way too long.

max payne

I try to avoid Marky Mark‘s films the way I try to avoid any family. Especially the loud, obnoxious ones that always comment on how tall you’ve grown. But I was at the cinema on a Friday night and everything else, including Role models, was already sold out (In hindsight, it was a good thing. I mean Sean William Scott playing Stiffler for the 98732th time?? C’mon now). So It was either Max Payne or High School Musical 3. I’d rather watch my cock rot from the plague than watch Zac Efron and co. prance around like fucktards.

Max Payne revolves around (surprise!) Max Payne and his never-ending quest to solve the homicide-turned-cold case that was his wife and child. The story starts when one night he runs into a really hot chick at one of his informers’ parties. (If you must know, she was smoking hot, lying on his bed, twisting her half-nekked body around his sheets, basically begging for some Marky Mark penis. But he asked her to leave instead. Wtf. Everyone say it with me now … G-A-Y.)

The script was Hollywood horrible. Direction, mediocre at best. It’s a shame because for a Mark Wahlberg vehicle, I expected a little more. Mark Wahlberg is not a one-dimensional actor. Dare I say, he actually has the chops to be a really good actor. Everyone knows how well he did in the shitty remake that was The Departed (sorry … i really really did not like it. sorry marty!). With that said, however, he simply isn’t a good enough actor to shine through a really bad script. He gave a solid performance, at best. But even jello is solid when you consider the rest of the cast. I mean they had fucking Mila ‘Jackie’ Kunis play a Mafia chieftess. Are you fucking kidding me?

If you really really want to watch it because you enjoyed the game, I’d say do it for the aesthetics. The action was pretty limited (there’s only one time he did the jumping, gun shot move), considering it was an action movie. However, the movie was beautifully shot. Though the visuals were reminiscent of the other shitfest that was Constantine, I thought it was still pretty good. The movie’s slight neo-noir feel – it’s always snowing or raining in the world of Max Payne (reminiscent of Se7en, anyone?) – was pretty convincing, though a little contrived at times.

In the end, I really don’t think it deserves the 20% on Rotten tomatoes. Sure, Wahlberg did hype the movie as being the shit. But honestly, were they really expecting the Matrix? It’s just another Hollywood horrible adaptation. I say watch it on DVD, not at the movies. Unless HSM 3 is the only thing playing.

My pretentious rating system; C+